The need to be worshipped...

Knock Me Off My Pedestal

What I realized about my desperate need to be praised, and learning to pass the praise where it belongs.

Personal Reflection

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I realized the other day that I have a sick and desperate desire to be worshiped.

Most of us probably do, without calling it that. But isn't that what it is?

When I want to be acknowledged. When I want to be noticed. When I want to be appreciated. When I want to be adored. In reality, I want what God actually deserves.

That is a tough realization.

So I have been praying for God to release me from these desires. Release me from the desire to be noticed. Release me from the desire to be recognized. Release me from the desire to be praised for anything I have ever done that could be praiseworthy. Instead, I have been praying that I be able to give HIM the praise.

You are probably thinking I have completely lost it. "That crazy woman, I knew all those kids would finally get to her someday."

Yes. It has happened. I have completely lost it. And now if I can only figure out a way to keep it lost.

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But honestly, this life we are living. We are absolutely bombarded. There are evil websites like Houzz that make me want to repaint every room in my house and buy all new furniture just so people will come praise my decorating. There are those impossibly fit women in their Lululemon making me think that if I spend three hundred dollars on leggings, somehow my situation back there will improve and people will notice. (I cannot believe I just admitted that.) And do not even get me started on the mom blogs where people write about hand-delivering homemade cookies to every homeless person in the city, and I think, I want to do that. Not because it is beautiful and right, but because then someone might say something nice about me.

My little realization helped me see that is not the point. None of it is the point.

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There is an amazing woman at my church who, every time I compliment her, responds the same way.

"Hey, I really loved what you shared last week."

"Glory to God."

"That is a beautiful shirt on you."

"Glory to God."

Every single compliment, every kind word, every bit of praise, straight back to Him. She does not deflect it awkwardly or wave it away. She receives it warmly and passes it immediately, gracefully, to the One she believes deserves it.

I think about how happy that must make God. And then I think about how I would feel if one of my own children did the same thing.

"Great job on your test!"

"Thanks, my mom helped me so much with that."

"You have such beautiful manners."

"Thanks, my mom worked really hard teaching me."

That would honestly make my whole week. Now imagine how much more deserving God is of that same response, because if I ever did a good job helping my son study, it was with God's help. And if my children ever learned how to behave... well. I cannot take much credit for that at all. That was entirely Him.

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So this is my prayer now.

• Lord, let people notice You when I do something good.
• Lord, let people praise You when I do something praiseworthy.
• Lord, let people admire You when I do something admirable.

Let me be the window, not the view.

Pray for me. I will pray for you. 🙏

A Personal Blog on Faith, Life & the Journey