I am so impatient! GOD why do you that to take SOOO LONG?!?!?

Faith & Life  ·  Personal Reflection

Small Movements, Big God

I owe God an apology for my impatience.
But He has been very gracious about teaching me anyway.

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First of all, I have to apologize to God for yelling at Him. I know His timing is best, and I need to trust Him more. But goodness, I can be so impatient. I am slowly learning though, and I wanted to share a few things that have happened lately that have helped me put God's timing into perspective.

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✦   Lesson One: The Lawn Mower   ✦

What my husband did to the ground cover.

A few months ago, my husband was working in the yard and decided to trim back the beautiful ground cover growing outside our house — with his lawn mower. When we woke up that morning, the leaves were full and green. If you accidentally stepped in it, it left a small footprint because it was so fluffy and full. After he "trimmed" it, it was completely bare, with only roots and stems still attached to the ground. By the next day the whole area was brown and crisp and looked very much dead.

Ugh. So sad.

But here we are nearly two months later, and wouldn't you know it — I am noticing tiny little green leaves budding out from the roots again. It is starting to come back. It certainly will not be back to the way it was by tomorrow. But with a little sun, and rain, and time, it is slowly coming back.

This whole incident reminded me of how we sometimes damage relationships in our lives. We can totally mow over people we encounter — by hurtful words, or actions, or both. And sometimes we expect those relationships to just bounce right back, with or without an apology. But the truth is, time is a very important factor too. Every day when I look at that bare patch of yard with tiny little specks of green beginning to sprout, I am reminded that God can bring it back to life. It just needs time.

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✦   Lesson Two: The Pinched Nerve   ✦

What my spine has been up to lately.

I recently developed a pinched nerve. I have no idea what happened, but oh my goodness — this is not fun. I went to the doctor multiple times, started medication, got a massage, and none of it was helping. Finally I started seeing a physical therapist.

The first session, I was a little disappointed. The exercises she gave me were so simple. Literally, she told me to tilt my neck to the right about one degree. Then told me to do two reps of fifteen — as if I were at the gym lifting weights. I thought the whole thing was a joke. How could barely moving any part of my body, for two cycles of fifteen, heal this massive amount of pain?

But guess what? It is working.

Here is what I gathered from that. Sometimes the path to healing is not in the big movements. Sometimes healing comes from the small, tiny movements that we do consistently over a period of time.

That is so like the God I know.
Healing can take a long time,
and miracles can happen through the smallest movements.

So have patience. If you have prayed for something, keep praying, and be open to the smallest steps toward healing. Even though it may seem insignificant at the time, I guarantee you — God is working through it.

Pray for me. I will pray for you. 🙏

A Personal Blog on Faith, Life & the Journey

Love Love Love, the most powerful thing in the World...

We are living in a crazy time right now.  All the sadness of the shooting in Orlando, and the state of our country right now, is just down right scary.

But in the midst of all of this, there is something way more powerful than fear, it's called LOVE, and I was reminded of it by my oldest son when he asked me the most profound question the other day.

It literally blew me away. Before I tell you what it was, remember, scripture teaches us that God IS love.  Think about that for a second.  God IS love.  Love is God.

SO my son's question was this...


"If God didn't exist, would Love not exist?"

I had to think about that for a moment.  I believe he is correct.  If God didn't exist then neither would love.  The only reason it is possible for me to love my kids, and take them to a million different places, and wipe their noses, and their cute little booties, is because God exists.

The only reason I am able to love my husband, who sometimes doesn't deserve it, is because God actually exists.

The only reason my husband is able to love me in all my flaws, and prejudices, and my anger, and moodiness is because God actually exists.

THANK GOD!

SO the more you KNOW God, the more you are able to LOVE others.  Which unfortunately means the opposite as well. The LESS you know God, the less you are capable of LOVING others.

Okay seems simple.  But what if you are feeling unloved by others?  What if you have experienced some rejection, or hurt, that has caused you such pain and suffering and right now you are not really thinking about how good of a job you do at loving others, you are a little more concerned with how others are loving you?

We all go through that.  And with all the pain in the world right now, I am not surprised in the least.  It sucks, and it hurts, and sometimes it is just downright easier to give in to the fear or hate.

But don't do that.

Love is a powerful weapon.  Yes, that's right.  A WEAPON.  I like to use it like a sword to chop off the arms of my enemies!  (Okay maybe that's not exactly right, but you get my idea.)

Someone to share my Joy with...

I had an epiphany regarding happiness in my own life. I was at the Florida Aquarium watching my kids play together.  It was glorious!! The weather was beautiful and everyone was getting along!  Oh my this was joyous.

But there was one problem.

I was there alone with my kids.  There was no else with me at the moment to share that JOY with.  No one to glance at when the kids did something funny, and no one to laugh at them with me.  It was not as fun.

I am so fortunate, because I have many people I could have called or texted and shown them a picture or let them know how wonderful that moment was for me.  Not to rub it in - that we were having such a glorious day, but to be able express how blessed I felt at that particular moment.   (It was literally bursting out of me.)

Then I thought for a moment; there are so many people who don't have a person they can SHARE their joy with. They might be a single mother, or a single dad, or a widow, or widower, or they might be a single person who feels they have no one to express anything to, let alone joy. 

If that is you. Please know I am praying for you right now.

Life is super hard.  We all struggle with things; relationships, family struggles, addictions of all kinds.  My epiphany was that it would be a struggle to not even have a person to share JOY with, how much harder would that be to not have someone to share PAIN?

So what can we do about it?

REACH OUT!!!  Find people, include them, smile at them, make connections.  We are grown ups.  We can talk to strangers.  (Maybe don't give them your address, and phone number) We can make connections with people all around us.

GIVE PEOPLE THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT.  I choose to believe that most people are genuinely good.  When they snarl at you at the red light, or bump into you at the grocery store, don't be so quick to snarl back.  Maybe they just had the worst moment of their lives.  Maybe someone they love was just diagnosed with a terminal illness or something.

If we treated all the angry and mean people in our lives with compassion and mercy rather than rudeness and resentfulness wouldn't we all be happier???  And then maybe we would find more people to share JOY with.

God, you are amazing, powerful, generous and kind. You give us everything we need. You are the great provider. Thank you God for all that you have provided to me. You have given me so much!! Please Lord, help me to have the courage to reach out and share JOY with anyone who you call me to connect with.  Help anyone who feels like they do not have someone to share Joy with to recognize your gifts and to reach out to others as well.   You are the great connector, and the true source of my JOY.